Screaming About Nothing

Screaming About Nothing

I spend the majority of my days with two cats, Jerry and Sterling. They’re charming, weird companions who typically spend their days staring out windows, napping, and occasionally wrestling, though I’ve recently noticed that anytime I go near the kitchen...
Don’t Blame the Beans

Don’t Blame the Beans

A metaphor, because sometimes they’re fun: You need to eat. You go to your fridge and find: OPTION #1: Leftover three-bean salad your wife made a week ago. It smells awfully funky and the beans are covered in a viscous, smeary goop. OPTION #2: Leftover chicken...
God Help Us

God Help Us

Some admittedly limited reflections on the 2024 Presidential debate, written in real time as the debate occurs: 6:02PM — I realize I have more mustard options on the shelves of my fridge than I do choices for President of this country. 6:03PM — I question who this...
Use the Machine, Dummy

Use the Machine, Dummy

I was hand-washing some dishes the other day when I began to wonder, Why? Why am I washing dishes by hand when we have a perfectly functional dishwashing machine? We already own the dishwasher plus the soap needed to run it, the machine is conveniently located...