Here You Come Again, Again

Here You Come Again, Again

Happy Inauguration Day. (Lyrics are below for those who wish to sing along)     Here you come again Just when I’ve begun to get myself together You waltz right in the door, just like you’ve done before And wrap my heart ’round your little...
The Human Eraser

The Human Eraser

The human eraser had long, thin legs and a squishy rubber head. He groomed his beard every morning but could never entirely remove the castaway crumbs of yesterday’s rubbings. He hewed strongly to principles of Leave No Trace. It was impossible to leave no trace, but...
Screaming About Nothing

Screaming About Nothing

I spend the majority of my days with two cats, Jerry and Sterling. They’re charming, weird companions who typically spend their days staring out windows, napping, and occasionally wrestling, though I’ve recently noticed that anytime I go near the kitchen...
Don’t Blame the Beans

Don’t Blame the Beans

A metaphor, because sometimes they’re fun: You need to eat. You go to your fridge and find: OPTION #1: Leftover three-bean salad your wife made a week ago. It smells awfully funky and the beans are covered in a viscous, smeary goop. OPTION #2: Leftover chicken...
God Help Us

God Help Us

Some admittedly limited reflections on the 2024 Presidential debate, written in real time as the debate occurs: 6:02PM — I realize I have more mustard options on the shelves of my fridge than I do choices for President of this country. 6:03PM — I question who this...